i am a conversationalist. 

an analyzer.

a theoretical appreciator. 

and someone who believes that everything has meaning. 
(sometimes the meaning is just that it's stupid. but- seriously. yes.)

occasionally i have trouble accepting change because it requires an entire process for me
other times i welcome change with unparalleled grace- admiring the fact that change is possible  and happily seeking the greater purpose. i'm so awesome. (except for, not really). 

but- i'm not really sure which approach i'm trying to adopt now. 

i'm about to be the kind of person that irritates me. the person who acts like all life's greatest treasures are hidden in a song. for the record, i don't believe that. i think life's greatest treasures are actually excavated from words having been chiseled together; whether spoken or written. ironically that is what song lyrics are. 

"we are shaped by the light that we let through us"

oftentimes my attitude towards life is that every decision, accident, change, or choice that enters our lives bears with it the sometimes overwhelming opportunity to transform us, shaping us into something new. sometimes better. sometimes worse.

but as of right now, i don't think i believe that. 

i think we invest too much belief in the perception that the variables of life hold the responsibility and power of evolving. and they don't. 

i'm starting to think that we are wholly changed by opportunities where we engage in letting light shine through us. in being vessels for Him. that is where transformation lies. where anything which actually holds any power to change us can be found. 

life is molded and transformed by the Greatest Creator, but we have to let him. 
we have to be willing. 
i want to be willing.