a belated birthday post

[friendships take a lot of work. just like any relationship between two people, friendships require extreme amounts understanding and selfless love. i have been blessed with the opportunity to call some spectacularly terrific people my friends.]

vera and i met on our very first day of college. we sat near each other in a ridiculous math course taught by our campus' resident astronomer and lived a few floors away from each other in the same dorm.

A first she seemed so mild-mannered but then i heard her mutter under her breath something mildly inappropriate during class and i was captivated! she had me at sarcastic. what a character.

we were close friends throughout my years at school. she specifically got to know selfish kelly. ugly kelly. and hateful kelly. the three amigos.

vera was an RA in our dorm too. and she was real good at it. everyone wanted to talk to her about their problems because she was and is such a good listener. she's the best at helping people realize their importance and self-worth. i would even feel confident in saying that she has SAVED PEOPLES LIVES. seriously. i mean it took her hours just to get through room check of one hall wing. that's life-saving.

the first time i told anyone that something wasn't right with me was during one of vera's weekly nights to be on call in the dorm lobby. i don't remember the weepy words that were said, but i distinctly remember that she didn't call me crazy. that was what i needed. because to me, I was crazy. I mean cah-RAY-zee. The conversation that you really don't dream about having is the one that starts with "hey, you don't think maybe i've hurt someone and i just can't remember it do you? don't answer that. and also, i think i might be crazy."

that's a whole new kind of crazy. the scary kind.

but with her, that conversation was okay.

vera came and stayed one night at my parents house a few weeks after i moved back. i cried myself to sleep and she held my hand all night long. you probably didn't even sleep, did you Vera? and i know how much you love your sleep.

she wrote me all the time. tried to give me a little bit of normalcy back. she called often, kept track of all the progress i was making and was even lucky enough to get to take on the task of taking me out of the house- having been been giving my blessing to chaperone.

she believed in me, encouraged me, and didn't abandon me.

she passed every friendship test in existence.

she had the faith that i had yet to discover, and she shared it with me.

and after all that she was even silly enough to become my roommate. assisting me in watching nickelodeon children's shows and joining forces in a measly attempt to overthrow Bowser and his crew in Super Mario. those were some of the greatest times.

you're probably the reason i don't have a boyfriend, 
because you've left some pretty big best friend shoes to fill. 
it's probably a daunting thing to ask of someone else.
but still,
thank you for doing so much of the work.
you saved me.

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