i have probably spent a lot of time in my life trying to be something i'm not. trying to do things the way i think they should be done.

normally, these ways are the easier ways. you know, the ones that get you where you want to go faster. the ones that don't consist of tears, and sadness, and depression, and hurt. those are the ones we try to choose for ourselves.

as humans, we often get stuck believing that what we want must be what God wants, right? I love God, and these are the desires of my heart, so this is obviously what He wants (Psalm 37:4).

right now, i want to quit. that is the desire of my heart. and it shouldn't be. just because i'm desiring that right now, sure doesn't make it what He wants for me.

As a matter of fact, He wants the exact opposite. He wants me to fight, so that He can prove that He is the triumphant One. That I can handle this, because He is living in me.

God has promised us great things right now. Not just waiting for us in Heaven.
In Matthew, the Beatitudes tell us that 'blessed are the poor in spirit and the ones who are persecuted for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven'.
it's a present tense conjugation in the Greek text. that means we have it right now, the rest of the Beatitudes (verses 4-9) will later be achieved in their fullness, but verses 3 and 10 are right now.

So let's pray for the strength and faith that David had, He didn't doubt God's strength as he met Goliath. I don't want to miss out on this plan God has for me because my own pride and sense of pre-determined defeat get in the way. Even though it means darkness and hard times, I'm going to man-up, for I know that what lies ahead will be so much sweeter because of it.


  1. overwhelmed at the wisdom God has given yo. Hold firm to each, believe it, live it, know it, trust it. HE has taught you all of this for a reason my precious child.

  2. Nice....nice. Have you been reading Piper? If not, you addition to regularly scheduled viewings of THE WORD

    "Even though it means darkness and hard times, I'm going to man-up, for I know that what lies ahead will be so much sweeter because of it."

    Nah, don't man up. Man (and men) is weak and dumb. David made the naughty with a married woman and then killed the husband....and Scripture still counts him man after God's own heart. So clearly whatever righteousness is counted to us is not man's doing. God-up

    Just keep throwing yourself at the mercy of his feet on a daily basis. And keep God's glory on full display in your writings! I'll be here to read them

  3. Kelly this is so spot on with where my heart is struggling now. Thank you for sharing. Good stuff!