REVEALED: My Valentine's Day Love Affair

Only one time in my entire existence have I ever recieved flowers from a male specimen. Ever.

And let me tell you it was equal parts enjoyable and completely mortifying.

There's just something about opening up your door to an uneasy boy grasping a bunch of flowery, prickley, bunch of dead things while looking around and praying that none of his buddies witnessed the journey from his car to my door that strikes an embarassing cord within.

Now if it would have been a bouquet of books, maybe the saga between me and this mystery man would have been a for sure forever. But alas, it was flowers. And our relationship lasted about 2 minutes after that.

Because now, I have a love affair with literature. It completes me.

I have this serious problem with 'browsing' in the books and magazine section in Target/Walmart and then walking into the parking lot with an armfull of bookage. I'm thinking about bringing it up at therapy on Wednesday.

I really love when this happens because I normally walk out with some ferocious books. I usually don't grab books that I've heard of, as to feel like I am finding some kind of diamond in the rough. Though obviously not because if this book is sitting in the limited selection book section at a Walmart Supercenter, its probably been discovered by millions of others. No raining on my parade please.

Here are some books that are filling up my Valentine's night, and I'm partially through with all of them (because I have another problem of rarely finishing books, shall be discussed another time)...

[please note that each title is a quick and easy hyperlink to amazon to purchase the book or read more about it. you're welcome folks].

What My Girlfriend Doesn't Know
Sonya Sones

I'm a blatant teen lit reader ( and I like to blame the librarian within me) so this book quickly grabbed me. Obviously the rest of greater America cannot judge me for this being because of their pretty serious love affair with Twilight.

The whole book is written in poetry form, and though this would normally irritate me to know end, just like those books written with no punctuation, train of thought (seriously people? Let's inflate the high percentage of grammatical errors and illiteracy of the population) BUT these poems crack me up. And they flow really well, the sentences are even continued from the end of one poem to the title of the next. I love me some witty authors.

This is the passage that captured / devoured my heart and soul (AKA made me laugh out loud in the middle of Walmart)

And I'll Never Forget Those Kisses, Either

Because
Making Out With Sophie
Was a very big deal for me.
-
See,
I'm not exactly what you'd call
the most experience guy in the world.
-
Okay.
So I'm the least experienced guy
in the world.
-
Okay.
So Sophie was the first girl
I ever laid lips on.
-
But it was definitely
worth waiting
fourteen years for.

He's Just Not That Into You
Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Okay, so maybe I'm joining the bandwagon for this one two years too late- but I don't think that really matters, because the point is, this book captivates. The authors were both writers for Sex and the City, so if you can look past the occasional crudely consructed sentences, then you are in for serious belly laugh. I've read my fair share of relational advice books, and rarely, actually, NEVER do they have anything to offer. But this one pons. ( that's how middle school boys show the intense own-age something can have).

Each chapter resonates on one reason that he is obviously just not into you, be it he doesn't call you, he disappears, etc. And its pretty eye opening. I spend a lot of time coming up with crazy excuses for any male I ever even begin to like about why they aren't obviously liking me. We're talking fairly insane reasons, and this book has destroyed everyone of them. Tough love, but I like it that way.

Reconstructing Natalie
Laura Jensen Walker

Who doesn't love Christian Chick-Lit with a purpose? Now I feel sorry for myself for being single, but how about a single girl who just got diagnosed with breast cancer? Recipe for disaster. Part of me wants to read this as a 'now stop sulking because there are much worse things' venture, and the other part of me read the word 'sarcastic' in the description and lurched onto that in 2 seconds flat.

So, if you're out there in cyberspace hoping for a man who will never let you down (other than Jesus Christ) just whip out a book and look out! ;)

EDIT: in case you're wondering, yes, I wish that I would have seen the display of affection shown through roses as a romantically affectionate gesture, because I kick myself everytime I think about it. Shame on me for not knowing how good it is until its gone. C'ste la vie.

2 comments:

  1. I love your love for books...I sooo get that :)
    Happy Weekend~

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  2. Hi! This is Whitney from the King and I. Because I am such a loser, I am just now coming to scope you out, hope you don't mind.

    So I'm guessing that you don't much like the Twilight books. I don't really either. Okay, maybe I just think they are a trifle overrated. . . Can I say that online? Will twilighters come and attack me with fake vampire teeth? Only time will tell...

    Glad I stopped by. Have a good weekend!

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