REVEALED: smooches

I hate it when people apologize for not blogging, because I feel like the blogee is acting like everyone could hardly go on with life while they weren't blogging. So i'm not even gonna try. Instead, I will thank you for going on with your normal sane lives, while I lost my mind. For the 342352352049834 time.

But, I mean... just look at this...

Can you blame me?

Its hard to find time or things to blog about when you're looking at small little people like that and being amazed at them when they learn to do things like this:

I know I know, I just want to die every time she kisses. Really. I'm so filled with joy that I want to keel over knowing my last moments were spent with that much happiness.

So those sorts of moments, combined with my 24/7 obsession with listening and or watching High School Musical 3 [thanks to Disney for including a 'digital copy' in the extended edition packaging, because with the touch of a screen I can watch the entire feature film on my iTouch. And folks, yes that's the real reason I've been MIA, to more things than just the blog world].
EDIT: my employers do not thank Disney.

My younger sister even got in my car tonight and asked [begged... actually pleaded] to not have to listen to the HSM 3 soundtrack.

But don't worry, while she and I were walking through the mall together I most definitely wasn't singing, or even heaven forbid humming High School Musical in order to not embarrass her in any way. If I wanted to do that, I would have just danced in public. And I definitely didn't do that. I'd NEVER full blown out dance AND sing while imitating Zac Efron in the middle of a bustling mall JUST to prove my eccentricity. And my sister totally IS NOT the kind of sister who would respond with walking away and saying "people really wonder why you don't have a boyfriend? Obviously, they just don't get it"

REVEALED: My Valentine's Day Love Affair

Only one time in my entire existence have I ever recieved flowers from a male specimen. Ever.

And let me tell you it was equal parts enjoyable and completely mortifying.

There's just something about opening up your door to an uneasy boy grasping a bunch of flowery, prickley, bunch of dead things while looking around and praying that none of his buddies witnessed the journey from his car to my door that strikes an embarassing cord within.

Now if it would have been a bouquet of books, maybe the saga between me and this mystery man would have been a for sure forever. But alas, it was flowers. And our relationship lasted about 2 minutes after that.

Because now, I have a love affair with literature. It completes me.

I have this serious problem with 'browsing' in the books and magazine section in Target/Walmart and then walking into the parking lot with an armfull of bookage. I'm thinking about bringing it up at therapy on Wednesday.

I really love when this happens because I normally walk out with some ferocious books. I usually don't grab books that I've heard of, as to feel like I am finding some kind of diamond in the rough. Though obviously not because if this book is sitting in the limited selection book section at a Walmart Supercenter, its probably been discovered by millions of others. No raining on my parade please.

Here are some books that are filling up my Valentine's night, and I'm partially through with all of them (because I have another problem of rarely finishing books, shall be discussed another time)...

[please note that each title is a quick and easy hyperlink to amazon to purchase the book or read more about it. you're welcome folks].

What My Girlfriend Doesn't Know
Sonya Sones

I'm a blatant teen lit reader ( and I like to blame the librarian within me) so this book quickly grabbed me. Obviously the rest of greater America cannot judge me for this being because of their pretty serious love affair with Twilight.

The whole book is written in poetry form, and though this would normally irritate me to know end, just like those books written with no punctuation, train of thought (seriously people? Let's inflate the high percentage of grammatical errors and illiteracy of the population) BUT these poems crack me up. And they flow really well, the sentences are even continued from the end of one poem to the title of the next. I love me some witty authors.

This is the passage that captured / devoured my heart and soul (AKA made me laugh out loud in the middle of Walmart)

And I'll Never Forget Those Kisses, Either

Making Out With Sophie
Was a very big deal for me.
I'm not exactly what you'd call
the most experience guy in the world.
So I'm the least experienced guy
in the world.
So Sophie was the first girl
I ever laid lips on.
But it was definitely
worth waiting
fourteen years for.

He's Just Not That Into You
Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo

Okay, so maybe I'm joining the bandwagon for this one two years too late- but I don't think that really matters, because the point is, this book captivates. The authors were both writers for Sex and the City, so if you can look past the occasional crudely consructed sentences, then you are in for serious belly laugh. I've read my fair share of relational advice books, and rarely, actually, NEVER do they have anything to offer. But this one pons. ( that's how middle school boys show the intense own-age something can have).

Each chapter resonates on one reason that he is obviously just not into you, be it he doesn't call you, he disappears, etc. And its pretty eye opening. I spend a lot of time coming up with crazy excuses for any male I ever even begin to like about why they aren't obviously liking me. We're talking fairly insane reasons, and this book has destroyed everyone of them. Tough love, but I like it that way.

Reconstructing Natalie
Laura Jensen Walker

Who doesn't love Christian Chick-Lit with a purpose? Now I feel sorry for myself for being single, but how about a single girl who just got diagnosed with breast cancer? Recipe for disaster. Part of me wants to read this as a 'now stop sulking because there are much worse things' venture, and the other part of me read the word 'sarcastic' in the description and lurched onto that in 2 seconds flat.

So, if you're out there in cyberspace hoping for a man who will never let you down (other than Jesus Christ) just whip out a book and look out! ;)

EDIT: in case you're wondering, yes, I wish that I would have seen the display of affection shown through roses as a romantically affectionate gesture, because I kick myself everytime I think about it. Shame on me for not knowing how good it is until its gone. C'ste la vie.

Today's News...

for the next few months I will be preparing to move into a house with my best friend Vera.

Boo-Ya life :P

I'm an idiot

This post consists of multiple reasons that my brain is slowly deteriorating, and its only moments until i utterly lose all capability to function normally in day to day life. for those of you crossing your fingers that this happens for sheer comedic relief, i'm watching you.

INCIDENT 1: occurred while I was meeting a new couple that I was tag-team babysitting for with a friend. The mom had made these ridiculously delicious oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (oatmeal haterz step off) and was explaining to us that whenever she has a babysitter over she feels that it is important to also have something homemade waiting for them. To which i retorted, "the kids don't count?"Nice first impression.

INCIDENT 2: happened at church whenever a girl came up to say hello to me as we were all walking to our individual sunday school class. she asked why I have been attending the young marrieds class (when I'm so obviously not) instead of the singles class with her. This time I said "because I like going with my friends". She's probably never going to talk to me again because without realizing it at the time, I pretty much told her that I think of blades of grass more often than I think of her. Awesome.

INCIDENT 3: was the result of an obviously stellar weekend of idiotry. We went to lunch after church to celebrate a little ones birthday, we= me and 30 other church members. While the waiter is coming over to take our orders he also is asking who else will be on our ticket. When he gets to me I'm completely not paying attention, shocking right? he did have a hispanic accent. So he repeats the question and asks "anyone else on your ticket?"and I say "nope. alone. all by myself. single. just me." one might think saying this is enough, so of course i trumped you and basically screamed it at him. why? i don't know why, I guess sometimes I think it helps to talk louder to people who speak English as a second language.

INCIDENT 4: these are my monday mantras because i apparently don't know the difference between monday and almost thursday. take it or leave it folks.


Monday Mantras

today was RTS*

i watched the boys, and zoey, and now brock today.

i've expended all the energy i could possibly possess in one day.

i barely have enough to press down on this keyboard, so feel really priviledged.

so, to celebrate this exciting* day, i'm totally starting a new tradition.

its called monday mantra, and basically i've just decided to open up my vault of serious knowledge collected from various children of all ages, and share it with you!

- even when there is 1 minute left of rolling credits, it IS necessary to pause the television show while you are FORCED to put on pajamas. (B. age 9).
and i've been snoozing during this prime television time?

-"if you start to date a boy, and then realize when you are marrying him that he isn't cute, just say "No I do not" at the end of the wedding and run really fast away" (L. age 6)
but what about my deposits, will I get them back?

-[if asked whether you have a boyfriend and you respond with no] "well you better get one fast. Just go out and find a cute one." (compilation of advice from K. age 9 and L. age 6)
Oh okay... that's what I was doing wrong.

-[in reference to what is learned in kindergarten] "i don't know" (M. age 5).
apparently things that are not absorbed well.

-"babababab dada WAHHHH" (Z. age 9 months)
just for good measure.

Also Brock just said to me while fastforwarding through television and not losing his locked glance with it:

"well, how was your day?" [ huge sigh]

priceless. i love it that he is as sweet as an 80 year old man.

* RTS: Rough Tough Stuff
* exciting... except for it's opposite day.