I read blogs, work for people, live around people, and talk to people whose lives I feel I would do anything to have.
I have spent so much of my life chasing boys, waiting for one to pick me, and I don't know why I do it. None of my self-initiated boy missions have ever ended in a significant other for Kelly, and sheer devastation isn't really my feeling of choice... is it?
At the end of the day all I want is to have someone to talk to, someone who is willing to invest in me. Sometimes at the closing of a typical day, I just listen to Praise Baby music even thought there is no baby in the room- does that mean I'm the baby?
All I desire is to feel like I belong in whatever circumstance or place God puts me in. But instead, the only thing I ever do is question it.
God has never let me down, there's been times when I didn't get my version of how I imagined things should be, but never has He left me or forsaken me.
As humans, we tend to not like to admit we're wrong, yet I've run out of combinations of arabic numerals to keep track of how often I've been wrong. For once, I'd just really like to be right.
Even if that just meant predicting I could sleep through a whole night and then actually accomplishing it.
Lord, I just need you to sustain me. To help me persevere. I want to continue to begin, and make it through this upcoming new year fully fulfilled with you, and my life. I trust that you will provide. I trust that you will have delights and surprises in store for me. Being where I am is not a dead end, every day is a fresh start.