Sorry its taken me so long, I literally feel like i've been running around with my head cut off and i just accidentally tripped over it and was able to screw it back on (for now...)
I've worked all week long, and when I say 'worked' I mean loooonnnnggg days. we're talking 6am-8pm people.
and i seem to have accumulated this sleeping problem that i don't really know how to resolve: i forgot how to do it.
i think it might have a lot to do with my medication switch just not working for me. which is depressing because this is the first time that I haven't been able to conquer a problem involving OCD since almost a year ago, and its really disheartening. Now I have to go in for my two week check up and say that after attempting the next step for the past month and a little bit more, I have to revert back to my old medications. Which would be okay, except for the fact that they aren't long term medications. So now, I'm freaked that I can't live without them, yet I can't live with them because I can't take them for an extended period of time. Which, really I'd like to know why because if the only detrimental side effect is like, growing an extra appendage or something I might be willing to cope.
Also its gonna be weird when I probably cry in the doctors office about this and then give my doctor a Christmas present for all she's done. When I feel like a complete failure. I also don't think it helps that the Cross I'm giving her says 'hope'... then again, maybe I should just take that message to heart and have a little bit more hope when it comes to this.
I know it isn't curable, but I don't like to think about that part. It makes the future sound like an abysmal mess. And that seems to not settle well with me. go figure.