drizzle rain always taunts me on days that we have baseball.

tough day. phew, and that doesn't even begin to describe it. 

first of all, being a mom is tough. second of all, if any actual mothers of the children i discuss here are reading this, i really do love your kids, they just suck the life out of me sometimes. 

today was the longest day of my life. i think i may have made it longer by not participating in a few important meals of the day, but there was just no time. 

today, i worked as the 'childcare provider' at a morning Bible Study at Ashley's house. Normally I just have two kids, Zoey, and the child who shall be called N. 

N is quite a handful, he's a fun boy, but he's reaching the terrible two's fast. first, he doesn't want to be away from his mommy. which makes things hard. and second, he had a monumental meltdown last week.  so today, in comes walking N's mother, and she brings him upstairs into the play room for him, where the television is so that he can tune in to PBS, and she tells me that this time, I just need to stay in there with him, and if I have to go over to the other room (the infant room) then I need to take him with me at all times. I wanted to look at her and say 'seriously?' you want me to bring him with me everytime i step six feet forward into another separate room where infants are so that he can throw toys at their heads like he often does, and then scream in their faces 'MEOW!!!!" and wake them and deafen them at the same time? but I just smiled and nodded. Then Ashley came in to check on me, and was holding Zoey baby, I told her that I was going to stay in there with N, who by this point, had just reached the denoument of his 'MOOOOOMMMMMMMYY" screaming, and was settling down in a swivel chair while gasping for air and breathing very loudly, with loose tears still dripping down his face. She told me to not worry about anything, and that I really am a good Nanny, none of this has anything to do with me. in the midst of the conversation, Ashley says 'oh no'. And I turn to see that N somehow got ahold of some crafting powder, and dumped the red powder all over the carpet. Ashley calms me by saying she's going to get the hand held vacuum, and i recite the Lord's prayer.

 The rest of two hour time slot was filled with me trying to pacify N's every want/need/cry/wimper/ and knocking on the door saying "Mommy???" i guess assuming she'd answer the door to the room he was knocking from the inside of? We went for a walk in the double sit and stand, and he did pretty well, until he realized that if he put his feet on the wheels it stops the stroller from moving. After about twenty minutes of this, and me blowing up like a volcano, i took his shoes off (relieving some of the traction he was getting) pushed his seat back, and tightened his seat belt, then i got down at his level, and very sternly without yelling said 'YOU HAVE TO STOP'. then we proceeded gliding around making sure to stop at every pumpkin to be found, and saying 'hi pumpkin! N says hello!'. Bless the Lord that Zoey is perfect for all of this. She is the reason I still have all my hair still in place. 

After everyone left, and Ashley went to work, Zoey tried to take a nap, but it was stressful for her. probably because she was having nightmares that N was hitting her on the head like he did at a certain point during the stroller walk. i think he was checking to see if she was there, but it was a little harsh. i did teach him to say zoey, and it was more like a 'soey' but it was awfully cute, even under the circumstances. i forgot to mention while on our walk, another exercising woman yelled at me, precious kids :) and i didn't have the heart to tell her the real story. that they aren't mine, they aren't always precious, they aren't really kids, they are evil spirits. (occasionally, remember I love Zoey, Ashley... ok?) So i brought her downstairs and after a few minutes she was asleep lying on the couch with me. we stayed there for a few hours and then off to pick up Sam at school. Having to assemble three kids, and dinner for two of them, and getting an infant home and then off to baseball is difficult. it's more than a task, its a mission. then after dropping the infant off, and the now youngest attendant begging for motrin, forcing me to stop at a CVS while we are running late to the game, to run in and purchase an 8 dollar bottle of motrin so he can dry swallow one capsule, sort of just makes me more mad? then the little fart fell asleep on the way to his baseball game, i can't tell you how tempted i was to just turn the car around and go home and skip the game. 

Luckily, even when kids are big time snots, there are still times that you just can't help but love them. like when zoey napped with me, and when i snapped some pictures of sam sleeping in the car, when Sam got to play catcher, and was really excited, and I was on the edge of my seat freaking out, and when James asks me to help him look for something in his science book and i find it the second he hands it to me and he follows that by saying 'oh just shut up," while i coyly grin at him :) those are good things. 

then Sam and James' mom came just in time for the last inning, and I got to chat with her for a while. She even hugged me when she saw me. it was monumental for us. She told me that the boys adore Zoey, and that they really love me. She said never in her life have the boys looked forward to her having to go to work. This made my day a million trillion times better, just in time for bedtime pretty much. 

my wise soon to be doctor friend advised me to get a good nights sleep and eat a healthy breakfast to recharge in the morning. but i've got therapy tomorrow afternoon so i figure that will recharge me enough. wish me luck with my first appointment in three months! i'm sure i have plenty of child rearing blues to share with good ole doc. 


  1. YOU.ARE.INCREDIBLE. I don't know what I would do without you. My life would be blue:)

  2. I love love love you. You are such a trooper, and I am so proud of what you are doing for all of those kids. I miss you, and I can't wait to see you Saturday. I wish I could have come and helped you yesterday :( It sounds like it was crazy.