i've come to the determination that
A.) arranged marriages are intelligent
B.) I could literally love anyone.
i'm not joking internets. i could love anyone. give me someone, tell me that they are mine and that they love me, and if they do, then its pretty certain i'll love them back. i mean, lets not think that i wouldn't find flaws, because i would. but i honestly could. it's becoming a problem folks.
it's a very difficult situation, some could view it as a great feature, or a complete handicap. and you know me, i'm gonna go with the handicap for 200 Alec.
i'm still having a hard time trusting God with his plans for me. I get caught up in so much selfishness all the time. i know and i have to repeat to myself all the time that My God is so much bigger than this. This is what he has always planned for my life. there was no plan B, this is it. and i've seen it. i've seen the joy and the help that i've been able to provide because of my life now, but every now and then i hit a wall. wondering, what is there about this that's helping me? and you know what, i'm not going to lie, as a girl, i think that honestly, the only thing i think will fill this desire to feel like this process had a purpose, is to find love. how crazy i know! i have a void in my heart that was created to be filled with my Savior and yet i'm constantly trying to squeeze in materialistic things and people.