marathons? Zoey, you know what i'm talking about.

everything used to be a competition to me, how fast i could finish college, how long i could go without drinking soda, how long i could go before my first kiss, how fast i could drive to get somewhere.... the list goes on. 

it was important to me to succeed in all that i do, and it still is important to me, but now.... the downfalls are too. I know it seems crazy, but that is where we discover who we really are, yeah... it's painstaking, and annoying, and crazy, and downright unbearable... but i believe that if you can push through it... it's more than worth it in the end. 

i've driven by myself now. 3 times. it's amazing. i never thought i was ever going to be able to say that ever again. seriously, i had little if any faith in normality restoration to my life. but slowly and surely i can see the pieces of my life forming back together again, but this time... in a different way... with a different purpose. nothing is a competition. life takes time, and so do activities. college is an experience. soda is good every now and then. driving slow is worth it for the music and the conversation, and kissing.... well i'm not the kind of girl to kiss and tell. 

i'm happy for myself, but most of all i'm happy for my life! (and my family because i've heard them through these thin walls praising the Lord for glimpses of seeing me not needing to depend on them for my every move). i'm excited about what the future might be, for the first time in my life. whether nannying for a precious little one, or schooling it up internet style, or even Joel. all these things are so different from my former life. and i am so thankful. 

also for my friends who have been so dedicated, and the new friends i've found along this journey. i couldn't live without monday's with emily, tuesday occasional dinners with the Lynch's, Wednesday therapy with Dr. Laura, Thursday's with Ashley and Zoe-ster, and Forby Friday's. I am so in love with my life, and so in love with the people filling it. 

EDIT: everyone can stop asking about me kissing someone. it was just for dramatic affect, okay people?!  can't a girl dream?

No comments:

Post a Comment