loving sleepovers on a schoolnight.

as i sit in the oversized cozy chair in Leslie's house, i can't help but contemplate my life. this chair always does this to me. it's something about the way the sun shines on it at dusk, it's positioning in the family room, the gentle hum of the washing machine, the atmosphere of sweet children racing around the room, and the sounds of all their voices create some kind of sweet melody in my ear that helps me to embrace any circumstance. 

i read an article in this family life magazine that i was reading today... well... first let's talk about the magazine. why do i have it? i have no idea. i was walking through the church hallway and stopped to stare into the library, feeling sorrowful as if my aspirations to inspire children all around the continental US to love to read have slowly but surely been trampled on by OCD, i saw this magazine rack with free magazines for families (at least i'm hoping free..... ) so i took one. just because. who knows really. so today, while i was gathering stuff to tote along with me to matthew's house to give me something to do while their mammoth sized 'washer and dryer' take hours to do their oversimplified jobs, i grabbed the magazine. after i had cleaned matt's room to a sparkly finish, i plopped down on the sofa and picked it up. there was this article in it about thinking. the man who wrote it talked about all the different ways he thought throughout his lifetime. how he spent his teenage years not thinking about anything, his twenties and college years thinking he knew everything and his parents knew nothing, thinking in his thirties about the future and that his parents did know a thing or two, and now in his forties thinking about things that really matter. contemplating on his existence and the difference that his life can make. the impact he can have. the time he spends doing things. it's very theoretical. the way he thinks now, is really similar to the way my therapist describes me. so i am now a 40 year old. or at least i have the mind of one. and just now, at this moment, sitting in this chair, i've decided i'm okay with that. 

at least, as long as that means that when i'm forty i don't have the mind of an 80 year old. 

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